1.) It helps your kids understand why you get so frustrated when you they don't do what you tell them to do. Case in point:
My 4 year old daughter will try to get Chloe to sit. She holds the treat in her hand, does the hand signal and is waiting with the clicker ready to reward her. Problem is, Chloe won't sit. "Mommy why won't Chloe sit? I keep telling her to and I'm using my hand! Mommy Chloe won't listen to me!!!!"
Thinking in my head, "FINALLY! Finally you understand how Mommy and Daddy feel when you won't listen!"
Did it work miracles and have my daughter suddenly start listening? No, but it gave me relief that she knew how it felt when she wasn't being listened to! :-)
2.) Focus on the Positive:
You know you've done it.... almost everyone has, your dog pees on the floor and you quickly take them over to it, rub their nose, scold them and put them in them back in their crate etc. For starters dogs don't understand English, Spanish or Scandinavian, so it doesn't really matter what you say to them, they don't "get it". We learned that when they do negative behavior we can tell them no, but we need to immediately show them the right thing to do. But most importantly we need to reward them when they are being good.... focus on the positive!
I learned this lesson during my daughter's 1st year in Preschool when she was in the 2's and 3's class. It seemed like every day it was a negative report. She either played rough, or she bit a kid, or she was acting up or.... on and on and on. Seriously could my kid be that bad?! The more negative things we heard, the more negative we were on her. Finally the director of the preschool said, we are going to try things a little different. When you pick her up, the teacher is not going to give you a status report that day, this way we leave on a positive note. The school year was almost over at that point but it did seem to help. The next year we didn't ask how she did that day (every day). We picked her up on a positive note every day. And you know what.... the more positive we were the more positive she was. It's easy for us parents to focus on the negative, but it may only bring out more negative in your child. Try focusing on the positive, and you will be surprised how quickly your child turns around! Ours did!
3.) Its more about your "actions and reactions" than their "actions":
Now we put in the absolute minimal amount of time that we had to in training our dog. Call us lazy, but hey my husband and I both work full time, and after coming home from work, cooking dinner, spending a little time with your kid(s), giving them baths, doing their nighttime routine to get ready for bed, etc... does anyone feel like spending the little bit of extra time you have training the dog? After all there are still dishes to be washed and clothes to fold. So we did the minimal... so how then did Chloe end up the Valedictorian? We simply followed directions.
The other doggy parents attended the same class we did, but for some reason when it came time for testing, they didn't use the hand signals they didn't say the right commands, and some forgot their treats! Is it the dogs fault that it didn't pass the test when the trainer isn't showing them what to do or saying the right command? No.
In the same respect, we can't expect our kids to act perfectly if we don't show them the correct way to act in the first place. They learn by watching what we do, and by listening to what we tell them. If we aren't disciplining them in a positive yet firm manner, will they know what to do right? If we are telling them not to yell and yet we are yelling at them to tell them not to yell... what good does it do? Its ok... we've all been there, I know I've lost my patience and yelled. Afterwards I realize, wow I'm acting just as much like a child as she is! Remember it's more about our actions and reactions to what they do, than it is about theirs. Their little eyes are watching us. Let's show them the right things to do!
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